Snow Day

The snow is still falling and my snow day has been everything I hoped for. I slept like 12 hours, took a nap, had a bubble bath and generally relaxed. I even watched my favorite soap. I could get used to this... I am hoping that it clears up soon because I have exciting weekend plans but I have really enjoyed this storm.

Tomorrow we have professional development at work so there are no kids! It should be quick and mellow and then I am off for weekend adventures. I have my costume and I can't wait. I am also taking Monday off work so next week will also be short. The week after I think I also have Monday off so there will be lots of time for R&R.

I am watching the news and they are forecasting a weather clearing tomorrow. Things are generally looking up.

Today I am thankful for my relaxing snow day.

Sometimes MS cramps my style

I decided a few months ago that I was no longer going to live my life as though I had MS. It has been great. I make plans and don't worry about my spoon quotient. I don't question if I can make committments or take on challenges. I just do. It has been life-changing. I have been feeling good and I still believe that much of our physical state can be attributed to our mental and emotional one. However; MS does put a kink into the equation at times.

Lately it has been cramping my style a bit. While I have still been doing everything I planned, it is with less than my usual energy. I am exhausted, the MS kind of tired where you sleep forever and still don't feel fully rested. This sleep comes on in a dizzying, nauseating cloud that wipes away everything else. I fall down the rabbit hole for thoughtless hours full of strange dreams and hallucinations. The migraines are back. I have been fighting them with Midrin and Meloxicam. It seems my body is inflamed. I have been taking the Meloxicam to try to fight the pain. My joints ache. Everything is creaking. My neck has been especially bad. I keep fearing I will throw up and my vision has been on the blink. This is really a pain in the butt.

I know MSers, your thinking I need steroids. Ok, maybe I do but I just had some a few months ago and I am hesitant to rush down that road of crazy with any haste. I am trying to eat well, rest plenty and keep taking the Meloxicam. I am hoping this set of remedies will do the trick.

At the moment, I am still working and driving so that is a good sign. If either of these things go by the wayside, I will get in touch with my neurologist with haste. Right at the moment, I feel the best I have all day so I am optomistic. We are getting hit by a storm front so maybe they will cancel school tomorrow or the next day. That would suit me. I could lay around in my PJs, eat, nap and watch movies. It would be perfect!

Today I am grateful I have not yet entirely succumbed to the latest bout of symptoms :)

Chronicles in the life of an urban adventurer

Where can I find the time to write? I'm so freakin' busy, sometimes in a good way, sometimes not but definitely occupied.

I'm making plans-- lots of them. I finally know my next steps. I'm going to get another masters degree. To be exact, I want to get a masters in fine arts with an emphasis in creative writing. I want to stay in Denver and apply to Naropa. I want to keep teaching at Harmony Yoga. As to the rest, I trust it will fall into place.

So back to the chronicles of an urban adventurer. I have been having adventures aplenty. Some of them have involved, swinging from a suspended trapeze, hanging upside down off a giant hoop-- five feet off the ground and wrapping myself in aerial fabric (tissue)and moving through a set of choreographed moves. I have been having the less-intriguing adventures of an urban, public school teacher at an "awesome" high school where I don my cape daily in order to pound edumacation into the brains of youngsters. I'm the "hall sweep" queen, bringing terror to the hearts of youngsters who are tardy for class. I continue to seek liberation from my current post but I'm still waiting to hear back on my latest transfer application to another school.

Yoga is at the center of my existence, thank the goddess. It keeps me sane and content. I have been teaching pretty much every day. The only drawback is that I have not had much time to attend anyone else's class. Perhaps one day soon I will.

Mixed in with all the craziness, I have still found time for my 8-14 hours of sleep a day. How do I do it? It takes discipline (LOL). My time is spoken for but I have made it my bitch... I'm caught in the adventur, yet I am still bored and underchallenged. I can see the next adventur near on the horizon and I am ready!

The Joys of Solitude

One might think that with divorce and the fact that many of my old friends won't talk to me that I would be sad or lonely. This is not the case. I am celebrating my solitude, in fact, I crave it. Today I am at work but I wish I were home reading, studying, painting and writing poetry. I can't wait for the day to end so I can be alone again.

Being alone is like oxygen for me. It is in my solitude that I find creativity and strength. I need the time to recharge and rejuvenate.

I love teaching. I love to teach school and to teach yoga but in order to do it from the purest place, I must find time to be alone.

Yesterday I spent the whole day alone. It was amazing! Now I want more. Tonight I teach yoga but I imagine that there is more time alone in my future.

Today I am grateful for the time I get to spend alone.

Update 10/16/09

Things are good. I'm happy. I feel creative. Generally I am unperturbed by the convolutions of the world outside me. There are many problems at work but I am not allowing them to trouble me unduly.

I have been reminded that suffering is caused only by our reactions to external situations. If we do not allow them to trouble us, then we need not suffer. This is why I feel good internally and emotionally.

Physically I still feel good overall but the last few days have been rough. It is a bad time of month and that often makes my body very inflamed. The inflammation makes me feel ill. I have been taking anti-inflammatory medication and migraine pills regularly. I know that this will pass soon but it is a drag. Last night, I woke up to cramps so bad that they jolted me out of sleep. It took me an hour for the meds to kick in so I could sleep again. Incidentally, I am a bit exhausted from my midnight awakenings.

Despite the physical discomfort, my spirits are good. Thank goodness it's Friday. I anticipate that my weekend will be mellow and relaxing.

Today I am grateful it is Friday.

The Shortcomings of Humanity- A rant

I feel a rant coming on... Disclaimer, if you are easily offended or are going to take this personally stop reading now. You have been warned!

Lately I have becoming increasingly irritated by some of the shortcomings exhibited in my fellow human beings.

1) Don't pass the buck-- take responsibility will you?
I am super-tired of the people around me who are full of excuses. Would it kill you to take some personal responsibility for the problems around you instead of passing the buck all the time? I hate hearing the, "I would but..." Or, "I could but..." Is Obama the only person left who can admit it when he is wrong? When shit happens in your life and keeps happening, is it possible that it is partially you? I am willing to say that it is partially me and to work on that. Could more people please do that? I know, I know, my standards are too high but can you blame a girl for wishing?

2) Kindness doesn't cost you anything, would it kill you to be nice?
I don't care if you are in a rush or you had a crappy day, does basic nicety have to be such a stretch? Don't take your crappy mood out on others. It's not usually their fault that your day sucked. It is unexcusable to be rude or mean no matter what's going on. I often am ill, I don't take it out on others, or at least I try not to. If I do, I at least apologize and assure them that it is not their fault. I wish more people would do this. I know, there I go again with my high standards...

3) I believe you have a brain-- use it!
Sometimes I tell my students, turn on your brain. I would like to say that to some adults too. Please think before you speak or act. Try really using your head...

4) I didn't ask for your opinion or advice so don't give it.
Ok, even I slip up on this one sometimes but it drives me nuts when people give me their opinion when I didn't ask for it. I also despise unsolicited advice. Another thing that annoys me is some people's habit (especially males) of thinking that just because I am expressing that I have a problem, it is their "job" to solve it.

That about wraps today's rant.

Today I am grateful that I am only this much of a bitch sometimes (LOL).

Passing on the Love

Life's good and I want to share so today I'm going to pass out some awards.

To Lisa Emerich and Diane Stafford I offer the "Most Inspirational Blog Award"

To Serina, Stephanie and Nina I offer the "Your an Awesome Girl Award"

To Kim I offer the "Strong at the Broken Places Award"

To Mike and Robert I offer the "Kreative Blogger Award"

To Julia, Herrad,Cherlyn and Julie I offer the "Kindness Award"

Please just lift your awards off the side of my blog.

All of the bloggers bookmarked on this blog are awesome so if you haven't checked out their work, please do so. Also, if I did not give you an award today please know that it is coming soon.

Happy reading,
Nadja

New Awards

Today I am grateful to accept two awards from Herrad. I will soon be passing these on to my favorite bloggers.

Much better thanks

It may be that not every day is sunshine but my sun is shining again. It's good to be alive.

Today I am grateful for the challenges and adventures:)

No one promised all sunshine

Today sucked. In fact, that word "suck" has been causing me a lot of trouble in the last 24 hours but that is neither here nor there (LOL).

I need a break. I need a break from work. I need a break from social obligations. I need a break from most people. I certainly need a break from judgements. I even hear them in the voices of people who claim to care about me. I am truly at the end of my tether but shit won't stop hitting the fan so I can take an excriment-free breath. I don't know what I expected--

This has been one crappy week. When I ached the most for a nervous breakdown, I didn't even have that luxury. Apparently breakdowns are a luxury reserved for those who depend, not those who are always depended on. Sometimes I just get sick of holding it all together. I want to screech, howl and throw things but I just feel rather silly when I get through doing it.

Lately I have filled this blog with joy and gratitude but today I must say, even I can't be all sunshine all the time. I would like to freakin' strangle someone right about now. I guess it is good I am home alone (LOL).

No one promised all sunshine so there you have it--