I rarely do any writing these days. I am very busy teaching and performing and I only have one day off a week if I am lucky. When that day arrives, like today, I am exhausted: physically, emotionally and on bad days, spiritually as well.
In many ways, I am living my passion and my dreams. My only real complaint: my day job and the need to make a good living to take care of my family keeps me working a job I care little about. I find myself at work daydreaming about circus life, distracted from my actual work by looking at aerial pictures and videos, updating my Firebird Moving Arts page on facebook, anything to pretend that my whole life is moving arts. And it is. At least it is the moment I leave my day job. Too bad my day job takes most of my time... These days money is always a big thought in my mind: how to pay for the life my husband and I want for us and his child (soon to be with us, I hope). I am not complaining, merely noticing.
I still am grateful every day that my health remains so stable, despite the MS. Honestly, this disease motivates me. Why wait until tomorrow to do something you want to do today? I am conscious of the unpredictability of MS. One day soaring, the next potentially unable to walk. I am determined to fly for as long as I can, to keep growing stronger, to fulfill all of my creative urges. I find myself unwilling to even contemplate dumbing down my art. It would be easier to choreograph an aerial act and perform the same act for a while but I am forever driven to create new things. I don't want to chose easy. I want interesting!