Sometimes it seems easier to be swallowed by inertia. We feel discontent, but we find it simpler to complain, wallowing in our circumstances, than it is to act. Taking action requires more strength than allowing oneself to just tolerate the suffering.
So here I find myself again, shifting the chains I allow to bind me, mind and body. The weight of habit is enormous. Shifting that weight requires dedication and persistence.
Many times before I have tried to shift this weight, but my efforts often seem fruitless. Sometimes it seems that changes I seek come not from my efforts, but from some shifting in my universe. I try and try to make the changes, but nothing happens, but then, somehow miraculously, things do change, not in tiny shifts, but in grand proportion.
I used to take a yoga class that I really loved. The teacher always reminded us at the end of class, "Trust that everything will unfold exactly as it is meant to." There is no assurance in this affirmation that "everything will turn out right, or everything will turn out how you want or expect it," but there is a surety that things happen with some order. I suppose this assumes there is a divine power greater than ourselves, but I guess we each also assume what is most convenient for us to assume, so I live with the faith that things will work out for me. It's not that I expect they will be perfect, or even that they will be what I expected. What I do expect is that I will always learn something during the journey. So I cast a new pebble into the pond of my life and wait to see which direction each ripple takes.