As I stare at the pile of ten, huge prednisone stacked up in front of me, a favorite phrase of one of my students comes to mind, "Fuck my life." Pardon my French, I'm just quoting and thinking, "little girl, you have no idea."
The truth is, none of us really have any idea. I'm feeling sorry for myself because I have been flared for almost two weeks, and the only apparent solution at this point is a massive dose of steroids, but my more rational mind knows that it could be much worse. Still, I am having myself a pity party and my readers (at least those who can relate) are invited.
Ever taken 500 miligrams of prednisone a day? Then you know. I don't even think that a Solumedrol user can fully relate. This is one of the most disgusting ways of medicating ever invented. I find that Copaxone injections have nothing on the Prednisone. The pills are huge, they taste terrible, they hurt your stomach, rob you of sleep and make you insane.
When I do take steroids, I always must weigh the lesser of the evils, my symptoms or the disgusting chore that is steroids. I always wait as long as possible before giving in. If I didn't need to work or pay bills, I would continue to try sleeping this off, but I have already been in bed for 3 days, and I think it is time to take steps so I can go back to work (it's overrated but so is eviction).
End of pity party, bottoms up, here goes the first of ten.
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2 comments:
Pity parties are allowed. You might want to check out the usually upbeat Nicole of My New Normals. In her recent post, she allowed herself to veer from her usual optimism to admit what she hates about MS. It is a powerful post, liberating instead of depressing. I hope you feel better soon.
http://www.mynewnormals.com/i-hate/
Thanks. I too am primarily an optimist but I do find that venting and then letting it go also serves me well. feeling better already :)
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