Today

Right now,
Only right now,
At this second I can breath--

Sometimes I just can step back for an instant,
And for that instant,
Things are simple.

I wonder that I ever panic,
Yet I often awake,
My heart racing, with dread I cannot explain.

Wondering how I entered the nightmare
Wondering how to escape
Struggling to see the other side of realities I want to deny.

Then I seperate from that reality for a moment,
Like now
And I wonder what all the fuss was.

How do I retain this vantage point?
This glimpse outside
Crushing, consuming darkness--

I don't feel like I have a disease
But I feel diseased
Longing to always have perspective.

I Long to remember,
That soon
Even this current phase will pass.