Looking Back in Order to Look Forward

Many things about this summer were/are great, but there have also been challenges. Sometimes it is hard not to get mired in the challenges, so I thought I should take a moment to look back and to remember both the good and the bad. This summer I spent a lot of time feeling ill but that is my summer norm. Things are rough when it is hot and things are also tough when I am as busy as I have been. Despite, the physical challenges, I find that today I am probably in the most top physical shape I have been in since before MS. In fact, in some ways I am even healthier and stronger now. This summer I also made some big life changes. I went to the Dominican Republic, fell in love with the country, and met a wonderful man. Before I came home I had already resolved to quit my job and to start making steps toward moving to the DR. When I got home I quit my job, took a new half time teaching job to keep my benefits and launched my own business full speed. To top off all the change, I quit my anti-depressant. Not everything has been perfect or easy. I have had to keep going, showing up to teach and perform all over the city, even while sick. I dragged myself to my day job many a time when I was not feeling well. Quitting the anti-depressant was physically much harder then anticipated. For about a month my body ached, and I experienced a lot of nausea. Now the clouds are lifting but now I remember what it is like to feel, really feel life. All this feeling is harder than I remembered it was. I have had some trouble with a few of my jobs lately. First, via email my yoga boss told me she was giving one of my regular classes away to another teacher. Then, also via email, my aerial boss gave one of my aerial shifts to another teacher. On the bright side, neither change was made because they had problems with my teaching. The changes were made to benefit others but I am stressed about the income lost and a bit insulted because I have bent over backwards to promote both studios and to fill in when they were desperate for coverage. Apparently some folks have little compassion or loyalty. On the flip side of all this, I have to remember just how far I have come in a few short months. After less than three months, I have regular shifts using my business name, an after school cirque yoga gig, and two upcoming workshops scheduled. I also have had the chance to perform 3 times this summer and I have two shows booked for the fall. My new business page already has 35 likes and they keep coming in. I even notice that people are using the info on my business cards to stay in touch. I realize that for an aerialist with a year of experience, things are really taking off. Sometimes I have to take a moment to look back in order to look forward.