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Saturday, March 14, 2009

The latest

Despite being busy, I cannot claim that I have the world's most interesting life... That is if you count out the sky diving, world travel and jet setting that make up my regular routine (not). Anyway, not too much to report here.

I made it through the first week of CSAP (our standardized testing) and I only have a few more days to go. I taught some nice yoga classes this week too. The yoga class I'm teaching at school is going very well so far. I have a number of super-engaged, very agile students who seem really into participating and that is refreshing. It is definitly a highlight for me right now. My Hatha class at the studio is also going well. On Thursday I had 11 students. I also got invited to a potluck at the studio in about a month and I am already excited for that.

I did get out of the house for a while on Thursday to catch a hockey game at the bar with my husband and a few friends. I know it's not much, but it was a change for me. I dragged through Friday and went to bed at about 9:30. I did make it to Joan's chat room last night were I enjoyed a lively conversation for over an hour. One of the things I realized when I was chatting is that a lot of people with MS seem to have the same concerns I mentioned in my previous post. One of the ladies at the chat asked, "How can I make other people understand why I overreact to little things?" Her question made me realize that we cannot often reach that understanding unless we have walked a mile in someone else's shoes. That is one of the best parts about meeting and talking to others with MS. Almost every time I talk to someone else with MS, or even with another chronic illness, we find common ground in our experiences and emotions around being ill.

I think illness amplifies our concerns. When I feel well physically it is much easier to be positive and to look ahead. When I feel ill or exhausted, I lose faith in my ability to do new things and even doubt my ability to do the small things I do every day. I think an important part of perspective is realizing that how I feel in any given moment, is not my permanent reality. It is important to enjoy the good times and the good things. They are what makes life worth doing. Just because one day I feel paralyzed with doubt, it does not mean I need feel that way for eternity. This perspective is incredibly helpful. Almost as often as I feel crushed by life, I feel consumed with almost indescribable joy. I may fixate on the bad but in reality, there is probably just about as much good. This seems like an important thing to remember.

Right now I am grateful to have several things I am looking forward to. On Monday I will go to my first newly diagnosed group with people my age. At the end of the month, I am going to visit my mom for spring break and next month I will go to the yoga teacher potluck I mentioned. Spring is coming and I can feel it livening me up little by little.

9 comments:

LISA EMRICH said...

Nadja, I came late to the chat last night and missed you, but it sounds like an excellent chat.

I'm saving this post for future reading. Been feeling a little stuck lately and welcome the reminder that today's perspective is not a permanent reality. Thank you.

Blindbeard said...

Great post, and I REALLY appreciate the bigger font! I was nodding in agreement the whole way through and even started to ponder whether I need to start doing yoga. My mom does it and loves it, but I am resistant to doing anything new or leaving my couch. I still love your hair, by the way.

Denver Refashionista said...

Glad to help Lisa :)

Denver Refashionista said...

Thanks Ms. Blindbeard. Glad to switch the font once I figured it out.

pat said...

I am a newly anointed Yoga-beginner! I LOVED IT! I was afraid I'd be embarassed, and clumsy, but YO- my 'salutation to the sun" was so liberating..... more to come when I have more time, but Nadja, I feel like I could climb to the moon!!!!! Thanks 4 the encouragement!!!!!

Denver Refashionista said...

Pat, again you have made my day!

Anonymous said...

Spring break involving a spa in Tucson sounds quite lovely... :) ~meg~

BRAINCHEESE said...

Illness, for me, leaves me feeling vulnerable at my core...and having lived a life of self-protection, I do not like that feeling. I have found (on those rare occasions when I practice this thinking.), when I cease believing there is something I risk to LOSE and that nothing can be taken from me without my will, I feel less vulnerable. It's a strange and peaceful place to be...if only briefly.

Denver Refashionista said...

You are so right Ms.
Cheese.