I was hoping to post something uplifting, inspiring and insightful... Alas, it's just not there. It takes a while for depression to lift. I am told the meds themselves take about 6 weeks to kick in so I have about 5 to go. Right now I just have to try to live one day at a time and not let myself sink into the shadows.
Little things seem to help some. Breathing is still very important. Yoga also seems to help whether I am teaching or doing. It is also helpful to keep a little busy. I want to sleep and forget but that is not the only way.
I like my new therapist. She's seems goal/solution oriented and I think she will help me find tools to manage my life better so that it feels less anxious and out of control.
Friends and family help too, as does blogging. Last night I chatted with Joan from "A Short in the Cord" and some other awesome ladies in the Delaware chat room. That was helpful. It gave me a sense of community and it made me realize that even when work is hard, it can be a positive place to filter my energy. I was reminded that I am lucky to have the capacity to still work full time and to contribute to my home and family.
Beyond these things, I find that I have little to say. My brother and sister both reminded me that this period of hardship shall pass. My sister also said that when you're not depressed, you don't have to think of or remember a reason to keep living life. I think she's right. Before I felt so anxious and sad there were many things that gave me pleasure. Getting going every day was not such a trial, it just sort of happened without much thought or mental anguish. I looked forward to things and enjoyed many things as well. I think I can get back there, it's just not going to happen quickly. In the short term, I am trying to find ways not to wallow and ways to be less hard on myself.
Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (PPMS)
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