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Wednesday, August 26, 2009


I reach for your sleeping form in the night--
My heart races
You are not beside me.
I am disoriented.
I cannot seem to remember how to sleep.
I am hot, awake and restless.

My heart feels pulverized.
How did we come to this?
Oh my sweet love,
Now stranger who shares my home.
I feel my disease
snuggling in for a long stay.

My hands and arms are numb
But my heart seems to bleed.
It beats heavily in my chest
A swift, dull thud with the pain.
I'm crying because I feel so scared and alone
I hurt so much.

All I want is to be comforted
I want to be reassured
I want to be held
I wish for sweet nothings whispered in my ear
But I am mocked by silence.
I breath deeply into the darkness seeking calm like an anchor in the storm.


Matt said...

i love you and am here anytime for you any time you want to talk.

Lisa Emrich said...

This is beautiful and poignant, while it speaks so clearly. Big hugs to you.

Denver Refashionista said...

Thanks Matt. I appreciate that.

Denver Refashionista said...

Thanks Lisa.

Tina :) said...

I absolutely love this :)
I am an avid poetry reader and writer myself. Stay strong in the fight!

Denver Refashionista said...

Thanks Tina.

sweaty hermit said...

i find it sometimes impossible to stand. i have a number of auto-immune rheumatic illnesses and also severe fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and myofascial pain syndrome. i live in bed, paralyzed by pain. it is so often so shocking to me that i am still here. in my 30s now i've been sick since childhood. i have neuropathic pain issues. i really feel i understand this post. thank you. i feel alone in this as it seems we who get sick young and for long often do. i wish the best for all of us. thanks for communicating the isolation and desperation and frustrated attempts at acceptance despite intention. take GOOD care.

Denver Refashionista said...

Thanks for coming by "Sweaty." I am glad this helped you.