I reach for your sleeping form in the night--
My heart races
You are not beside me.
I am disoriented.
I cannot seem to remember how to sleep.
I am hot, awake and restless.
My heart feels pulverized.
How did we come to this?
Oh my sweet love,
Now stranger who shares my home.
I feel my disease
snuggling in for a long stay.
My hands and arms are numb
But my heart seems to bleed.
It beats heavily in my chest
A swift, dull thud with the pain.
I'm crying because I feel so scared and alone
I hurt so much.
All I want is to be comforted
I want to be reassured
I want to be held
I wish for sweet nothings whispered in my ear
But I am mocked by silence.
I breath deeply into the darkness seeking calm like an anchor in the storm.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
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8 comments:
i love you and am here anytime for you any time you want to talk.
This is beautiful and poignant, while it speaks so clearly. Big hugs to you.
Thanks Matt. I appreciate that.
Thanks Lisa.
I absolutely love this :)
I am an avid poetry reader and writer myself. Stay strong in the fight!
Thanks Tina.
i find it sometimes impossible to stand. i have a number of auto-immune rheumatic illnesses and also severe fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and myofascial pain syndrome. i live in bed, paralyzed by pain. it is so often so shocking to me that i am still here. in my 30s now i've been sick since childhood. i have neuropathic pain issues. i really feel i understand this post. thank you. i feel alone in this as it seems we who get sick young and for long often do. i wish the best for all of us. thanks for communicating the isolation and desperation and frustrated attempts at acceptance despite intention. take GOOD care.
Thanks for coming by "Sweaty." I am glad this helped you.
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