Ever since Monday I have been working hard on my intention to focus on "what I have and not what I stand to lose." It helps. Even the tough stuff like sorting out personal finances has not been as challenging. Nevertheless, it's not peaches and cream either.
Work is still my biggest challenge. I am having a hard time focusing or getting myself to buckle down and really get things done. For the first time in my life, I feel totally scattered. The kids are scattered as well so I wonder if we are egging each other on. It seems the minute I focus on one kid, the rest go nuts. I have never taught a group with so little sense of boundaries. They constantly touch everything on my desk while I talk to them. If I tell a kid, "Just a minute" and then turn back to the kid I am working with, the kid waiting will get on a computer without permission and turn on You Tube. Where do these kids come from? Is it them, me or both? As I feel better and more confident, I keep resolving, "Today will be better, I'll be more on top of things." Then, later on, it's chaos as usual.
According to my own calculations, here's "what I have." I make a pretty decent salary. I get a lot of vacation. I have health insurance. We are still covering our mortgage, car payments and student loans in a time where many people are losing everything. Right now we are both in decent health and so are our pets. I also get my check whether the kids learn or not and whether they behave. This said, I always want to do a good job. What I do have though is job security and that is a lot in these times. It might not be peaches and cream but it's also not Top Ramen so 10 points Nadja, zero points naughty kids.
1 week ago