I am lost in my own labyrinth and completely self-absorbed. I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has reached out to me lately. I imagine many of my responses have been less than satisfactory. For that, I must apologize. Thanks to all my friends and family who keep reaching out even though I have so little to offer right now. You are all in my thoughts even if I seem to have disappeared.
Pat left me a beautiful quote that inspires me to fight on towards a better state of mind and a greater goal. - ““To be a warrior is not a simple matter of wishing to be one. It is rather an endless struggle that will go on to the very last moment of our lives. Nobody is born a warrior, in exactly the same way that nobody is born an average man. We make ourselves into one or the other.””
Carlos Castaneda
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4 comments:
I feel so much of what you feel. When I'm alone I still cry and I still panic and I have been doing this job for twelve years.
It's hard to explain it to others but taking my mega-doses of Xanax and Wellbutrin XL, along with my Ritalin force me out in to the world with a smile on my face.
Inside I still feel crushed and I find each week that Sunday is getting harder and harder. I am isolating myself because I feel safest when I am just home. If I keep this up I will run out of sick days soon.
I don't even want to talk to my friends. I'm lonely but forcing myself to be alone.
I'm working harder at school and trying to hang in there. Others are kind and concerned but I still sit in my room and sometimes actually eat lunch.
I wish you the strength to continue fighting as a warrior. I think of you a lot because our situations are somewhat similar but I hardly ever get to read other blogs during the week.
Hugs, Weebs
Weebs, I also see myself in your struggles. I am finding that staying present as much as possible helps. I use my ujayi breathing from yoga to help me through physical and menatl pain. It does seem to be helping a little.
Come back, Nadja--- we miss you! Just take care of yourself, okay?
Will do Jen. I'm on my way!
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