I spoke to my mother earlier and she asked how I was doing. I responded with, "Some days are good and some days are tougher." Overall, I feel much better both physically and mentally.
I remember the words of the first fellow MSer I ever met in person. I asked her about living with MS and how it affected her life. She said that overall things were good. She excercised, went to work and did weekly injections of Avonex. The Avonex always left her a little ill the next day but generally she felt pretty decent. One thing she did say that has stuck with me is: "There's a little something every day." She said you learn to deal with it. You find out what you can and can't do. You learn when to take breaks or take a rest. You may never be able to do the things you did before but you learn what you can do.
I am finding her words very true. Most of the time I feel pretty good. My balance is solid and I continue to make it through my work day with little physical trouble. Still, there are little issues just about every day. Sometimes it's just fatigue. Other times its irritable bowels, nausea or a headache. There is sometimes achiness in my body. Lately I have noticed short bouts of numbness and tingling in my fingers and feet. Fortunately, it passes after a short time and does not cause major discomfort. Sometimes these things are mellow enough I want to pretend that they are not happening. I keep hoping that just by giving up gluten I will become symptom-free. It has been two weeks now and I must admit that so far I have no real evidence to support my wish. I guess the good news is that I am learning to manage the "little somethings." I have not had a major panic attack in a few weeks. I am learning to identify the physical and mental triggers for my anxiety. When I identify a trigger I react quickly to calm myself and quiet my mind and breath. Now the "little somethings" don't get me as down.
Monday, October 27, 2008
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7 comments:
You're growing up within your MS. I'm so proud of you.
Ok - that sounds silly, but it's kinda true. Each person learns how to live within their own body, learns what they truly are capable of and where their limits are.
"a little something every day" - so true!!
Sometimes I feel so desensitized to MS because my case was gradual for a number of years, so the constant tingling in different areas of my body is not so apparent to me anymore. I guess my biggest reminder is that I am home and sometimes that irks me, but it's something I've slowly come to terms with.
Good handling of a disease that really came out of the blue for you!
Jen
I left some wacky comment over on PunkrockFairy's blog about the extremes of MS and finding some kind of balance in between them...darned if I NOW can't remember what I said there or I'd just do a big ol' "ditto". But hey? That's MS...and *floating my eloquent boat* just doesn't come as easily anymore with the disease! LOL
Much of the physical discomforts I can tolerate...it's the everyday cognitive issues/changes/subtleties I have the greatest difficulty overlooking.
Linda D. in Seattle
learning to live with the little things that are everyday...is a big thing. I thought that it was just me, and I wondered if I was just being overly aware of those "little things". It wasn't a part of this disease that I was preparing myself for, but it is just as important as the "big things".
Thanks for all the support ladies. I do think I'm learning to take things in stride now. Rather than worrying about what I'll be able to do down the road, I'm rolling with the punches.
I had to call in today at the last minute but I'm just trying to rest and not stress too much so I can get back to my responsibilites ASAP.
It's a process, darlin' and you're finding your way through it. Lisa put it better. You're growing up. As we all have to.
Just keep doin' what you're doin'.
S.
Cool!
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