Yesterday I saw my dad for the first time in a year and he gave me his analysis regarding the MS. He said it was the "real" Nadja attacking the Nadja I had allowed myself to become. Whatever one may believe, this really made sense to me, especially in light of what I wrote on April 1st. My dad suggested that I take the time to remember what brings me joy and to remember the creative girl I used to be. We talked about many other things as well but I think it will take time for me to process it all and write up my own take on things. Today I am just beginning to reflect on the things he said and to remember what brings me joy.
The sun brings me joy. My family and friends bring me joy. My husband brings me joy and so do my awesome pets. Yoga brings me joy. Music and song bring me joy. Creating art and writing bring me joy. Connecting with other people on a deeper level brings me joy. Dancing makes me joyful and so does standing on my head and doing "tricks." Even teaching often brings me joy. I love watching kids learn and I love teaching yoga. Doing creative things or reading books that allow me to escape into fantasy makes me joyful. I think this is why I created Denver Refashionista.
Talking to my dad actually gave me a sense of relief. I felt relieved that he did not tell me that I did something wrong to cause this disease ( shows where my head was) but I felt most relieved by the idea that I should do things that I am drawn too. I even got some ideas about how to cope with the things I have to do and still remain true to myself. I suspect it is time for me to have a love affair with myself. This should be fun...
Today I am grateful for the things that bring me joy.
Stay tuned... there is much more to follow today's post.
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4 comments:
You are quite the "thinkologist"! Your Oz-like journey makes me realize how fundamentally brave you are.It's remarkable thing; to absorb the things that give one joy,in spite of suffering the hunger pangs this self-discovery causes.It's as if one can never be fully born until we have all the questions answered,knowing it might never come to be...and only those fully alive realize this truth.I'm glad you can name your joys and search them out.They are your journey's warmly lit rooms to rest inside and give you strength, and nourishment.Be well this night,and in bond with your joyous dreams.
Nadja,
I have to say, I really love this post! You are really finding healthier views and doing something about them. You've grown so much and its nice to hear what you are finding out along the way!
Its easy to get caught up in the bad. It becomes a real relief when other people have helpful things to say, and I'm glad your fathers input ended up being beneficial. It does make sense, and I think I will follow your lead and create my own list of what brings me joy.
Thanks for the encouragement ladies.
PS- sorry,I'm no lady.....
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